Contrary to what you’ve been told, stealing is good!
Admit it: When someone broke into your apartment and stole your guitar, your first thought was, “Cool! After saving up all those bucks for all those years, I’m so happy someone else can now enjoy my classic archtop Les Paul!” Besides, if stealing isn’t good, then how do you explain our banking system? Gotcha!

 

Just say that you’re tired of buying CDs that have only one good song.
And you would be so right. Until a company comes up with a simple, easy way to purchase individual songs online (and thinking way out of the box here, maybe even a computer company instead of a record label!), vote with your dollars. Or lack thereof.

 

Remember, record companies rip off artists anyway.
So show your solidarity with giant multinational corporations by following their example, and having the courage to take the moral high ground. They shouldn’t be all alone in their never-ending struggle to rip off artists, and you can help!

 

It's a way to honor Steve Jobs’ memory.
Steve Jobs was one of the true visionaries of our time. Surely he would not have created the iPod if he didn’t intend for you to fill it up with music, and if you have to steal the music to fill it up— well, not doing so only dishonors his memory. Shame on you.

You really can’t afford to buy music anyway.
We understand. Somewhere in the poorest part of Appalachia, little Bobby is going to bed hungry— hungry to hear classic music like “Yummy Yummy Yummy, I’ve Got Love in My Tummy.” While stealing music won’t help little Bobby, we know that you certainly would forward that song to him if only you had his email address. If he had email. And a computer. Dinner would be nice, too.