DEAR JOURNAL, YOU HOOKER

We know you love reading other people's journals it's okay, we kind of get off on it, too. But you don't have to hide your secret pleasure anymore, thanks
Author:
Publish date:

We know you love reading other people's journals — it's okay, we kind of get off on it, too. But you don't have to hide your secret pleasure anymore, thanks to The Hermans. Who the hell are The Hermans, you ask? Well, they are a rock 'n' roll band, one in a sea of approximately 30,000 other rock 'n' roll bands in America, trying to make it big. Fortunately for us, members of the Missoula, Montana-based quartet decided to painstakingly document their ups (playing their first gig for 20 minutes at a local tavern), downs (drummer Derk Schmidt experiences a horrific table-saw accident, which is pretty gross) and everything in between. The Hermans: Stalking America ($17.95; Running Press, 2007) is sometimes touching and tragic, but most of the time it's ridiculously funny. The band members' notes to each other are a personal favorite, in which they call one another endearing names such as “Dr. Rosenpenis,” “Schmegma,” “Asshead,” “Shit Bag” and “Cock Sleeve.”

From the band's inception as a two-piece band (Derk Schmidt and Dave Jones) to the current four-man lineup (with Chris Entz and Bill Pfeiffer), everything personal and musical is documented in scribbled drawings, photos, e-mails and weird notes to each other. For example, you can read from the list of “Derk and Dave's Awesome 2-Piece Band Names,” including Jerkstore, KFCIA, Backfat, Fucktunstein and Body Bag Breakfast; from e-mails to each other (“The list of douche bag musicians we get to play with continues as we played a show on Election Day eve with a band straight out of the how-to-be-a-rock-star manual for asswipes”); from journal entries (“Playing live has quickly surpassed my other most cherished things to do like hamster juggling, giving random dental checks to strangers and lighting G.I. Joes on fire”); and from notes to each other (“Cameron, the guy that did our sound @ Ale House, wants us to play his wedding…. I asked him to get a list of covers they would want but told them we won't ever learn ‘Achey Breaky Heart’ because that song is the epitome of sucking and that guy should be sent to Siberia and pelted with tacks”).

The book even has a foreword scribbled by Pearl Jam's Jeff Ament (written on what appears to be a Los Angeles parking-violation card).