Craig's List: Five Reasons Dance Music Wil Never Die

1 They already triedto kill it. Didn’t work.
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Over a half-century ago, it was said “rock and roll will never die.” Well, don’t plan any funerals for dance music, either... here’s why.

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They already tried to kill it. Didn’t work. Remember “Disco Sucks?” Well, disco was killed—but like a crazed, drug-resistant mutant strain of bacteria (or Cher, for that matter), dance music came back stronger. And then it metastasized into different forms of music—sort of like a happy tumor. Take that, Steve Dahl!

Rise of the machines. Technology has not only given us cool dance music-specific instruments like MPC boxes, Maschine, and Live+Push, but has also birthed pitch correction—so just like rock and country, we now have a level playing field where super-buff guys and drop-dead gorgeous girls can become dance music stars without actually being able to sing!

Trance music has been around for at least 1,200 years. Yup, it’s pretty much a straight line from the Sufi mystics who saw trance music as a way to reach ecstasy, to smiley-faced Berliners dancing to trance music while whacked-out on ecstasy.

Dance music venues have practical uses. Dance floors are usually so crowded with what seems like the equivalent of paramecia in pond water that no one will be able to see if your dance moves are truly horrifying—so they won’t be judging whether you have the moves needed to be, shall we say, an energetic and coordinated partner in certain nighttime activities.

Humanoid bipeds have a pulse. Yes, even the people who hate dance music have to admit their body’s heart is a drum machine. Whether it’s beating at an ambient-friendly 60 BPM or an Olympic rower’s 185 BPM (simply marvelous for drum ’n’ bass!), no one can escape The Beat. Well, until your heart stops beating and you die . . . which by itself is a good enough reason to appreciate your own personal four-on-thef-loor kick drum.